This Sunday's Ride

There are girls in the Bible?

I am continually approached by well-dressed people who ask me if I've heard of the female image of God in the Bible.  Has this happened to anyone else? Last week, I was walking through Penn Station and had the following exchange:

A girl in her mid-twenties, dressed in a lavender business suit approaches me.  She is followed by an older man in a suit who is carrying a clipboard.  Both lock eyes with me and I suddenly glued to the floor.

Girl: Hi, I'm Susan and this is my colleague Anthony.  We were just wondering if you had heard of the female image of God in the Bible.

Me (dejected to hear that I am not being "discovered" and approached with a modeling and/or acting contract): Oh, um... to be honest with you I'm not interested.  I gotta say though, you guys must be the fifth set of people who have approached me this month to ask me that question.

Girl: Well maybe there's a reason for that.

Me: I sincerely doubt it, but thanks.  

I wonder what religion these people are, and why all of a sudden, they are trying to incorporate this feminist outlook to the Bible.  Didn't we already get this with Alanis Morrisette in Dogma? 

Anyway, here's a link to my new blog for my design class.  Also, to the rando who commented on my last entry- unfortunately I tend to mention urine frequently, but I appreciate the fact that ONE person seems to read this so I will insert a warning from now on.  Additionally, I have written much weirder things.  It's the result of an overactive imagination. 

Propel vs. Vitamin Water

When it comes to Propel, I'm a brand loyalist.  It tastes better than plain water and doesn't have the calories and sugar of juice.  I go through multiple bottles a day, which probably explains why my urine smells of strawberry kiwi.  

I am also a fan of Propel's advertising campaigns.  The ones airing now are effective in explaining Propel's key benefits and pit the drink against Vitamin Water as a more sensible option.  In other words, Vitamin Water gets dissed.  And considering their spokesman is 50 Cent, I knew shit was going to go down.  50 doesn't take rap from nobody.  So since I've seen the commercials, I've been waiting for Vitamin Water to strike back.  

Today when I was running, a woman stepped out of nowhere and handed me a free Vitamin Water.  An ingenious move on her part.  How did she know I liked hydration? Then I saw a Vitamin Water van and did a quick read of the side panel, which proported the various health benefits of the drink.  I guess this must be the first move in Vitamin Water's counter-marketing attack.  

But it's a stupid move on their part.  First of all, Vitamin Water is nine grams of sugar and 50 calories shy of being Coke.  Plus the sugar is refined, bad sugar.  Not good fruit sugar.  I understand that they want to appeal to health-fads, but why not focus on the different supplemental combinations that each drink contains? Propel has vitamins as well, but they lack the variety of Vitamin Water.  Also, incorporate more of 50.  Women will remove their drawers and chuck them at the stage for him, I think they would go out and spend a little over a dollar on his grape drink if he told them to.  If I were writing the TV script, it would go something like this:

Close Shot on 50 Cent doing push-ups with his shirt off to "Out of Control," sweat is rippling down his well-defined front.  He stands up and chugs a bottle of Vitamin Water.

50 Cent: Bitch, buy my water.

End Scene.

Who isn't going to listen to this man? He was shot NINE TIMES.  

Just saying... that's all.  

Zen and the Art of... wait what?

I've been muddling through Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and find the theoretical discord between the rationalist and social constructionist traditions interesting.  In the book, Pirsig refers to it as classical versus romantic.  The first perspective methodically breaks down elements comprising the natural world into an infinite series of hierarchical parts.  As an example, the author divides the functions of his motorcycle to form a conceptual map.  This means of rationalization explains the inner form of the machine by relying on truth and fact.  When something on the bike goes haywire, the theoretical tools presented by the scientific method are methodically used to distill negative evidence against the prevailing hypothesis as to why the bike has stopped functioning.   

On the other hand, we have the romantic perspective.  This article expands upon this framework with a focus on French deconstructive analysis.  Basically this perspective argues that all human experience is socially constructed, including science.  So while the world exists outside of our perception of it, we can only view the world through this perception.  Rationality is just a ghost that haunts our minds.  

All of this makes me wonder what would happen if the Earth were to regenerate and humanity were to start all over again.  Would history repeat itself? Or would we be governed by different objective truths and facts from the ones we have now? 

In other news, I was listening to KCRW Morning Becomes Eclectic at work on Monday and the station featured this band, Great Northern.  Later on, I was watching The Hills and one of the songs was played.  I think it was a sign from LC herself that I should buy the new EP.  

Great Northern- Telling Lies        

Riding the train

Currently I am on a homeward-bound train.  I don't mind the five-hour journey as I can usually find a multitude of ways to entertain myself.  First, I scour the content of bawdy gossip magazines in hopes that Hayden Panetierre's beach-toned body will magically transfer over to mine, shimmering magazine gloss intact.  Once we get to around Connecticut, I scorn my materialism and listen to Nick Drake while admiring the scenery.  Sometimes I'll munch on carrots, one train ride it was a pear.  I'm unpredictable like that.  

But my favorite part of the ride is arriving at Penn Station.  The train takes a giant loop around the outskirts of the city, giving you a nice panoramic view before taking a sharp right and diving underground.  It embodies my prefect New York where it's at such a distance that the Big Apple appears polished.  Too bad actually going into the city is akin to rolling around in a dirty newspaper intermingled with the scent of poop and peanuts.

Riding the train also presents an opportune time to check some books off my reading list.  I've read Gilead by Marilynne Robinson, which constitutes a dying priest's last recollections of his life addressed to his son.  Definitely a slow read, but full of beautiful prose.  Half of my copy is dog-eared from all of the quotes that stayed with me.  I also just finished The Trap by Daniel Brooks.  The author examines how the people in our generation must choose between taking a job that goes against their values but pays well or a more altruistic pursuit that pays less.  His main argument is that we must adopt egalitarian systems such as universal healthcare to even out the playing field.  Not only are Brooks' arguments compelling, but he often presents them in a humorous manner (for example comparing a creative job in a corporate context to prostitution).  All in all, another recommended read.

I'm going to California for a few days.  Be back next week.

Old People

I've been dissing regular mattresses since 2004 in favor of the inflatable kind.  One drawback to my insisting on sleeping on an airbed is that my bed at home has sprung a leak.  This leaves me with a nasty surprise every morning when I wake up to discover that I am being swallowed whole by deflating vinyl.  Luckily I roll in style and rock a remote control that allows me to inflate the sucker on command.

Saw Away from Her yesterday.  Objectively it's a movie that takes the woman with Alzheimer's and the man who loves her plot and sucks the idealism out of it.  As any critic would probably tell you, it made for a movie that was sad, beautiful and uplifting all at the same time.  But I'm shallow.  I don't like my movies to portray romance with any sort of emotional complexity.  After I finished The Notebook, I sobbed on my couch for a good 45 minutes while clutching a spoon laden with the sorry remainder of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food.  After Away from Her, I muttered "Old people are sad" and finished eating some pretzel sticks.  

Hey, click here to learn some vocabulary and feed some people.  Oh and here's that song from the Toyota Matrix commercial.

Oren Lavie- Her Morning Elegance

Madonna

I just found the new Madonna song featuring JT and Timbaland.  For some reason I can't physically download the song, but have linked to it here (press the play button at the bottom).  I'm a biased listener as I think anything that comes from Madonna is fabulous... the woman shits gold and farts rainbows in my book.  

I have just blasted the song four times in succession.  Poor Margot is attempting to compete with this by playing the ethereal, atmospheric music that she's been digging lately next door.  Unfortunately for her the rump-shaking dance dance revolution that is occurring my room is an all night party with never ending horn loops and galloping beats.  

My deep love of Madonna can be blamed on my mother, who decided to infiltrate the impressionable brain of a toddler with The Immaculate Collection, as well as foster within this aforementioned child a favorable reception toward high ponytails and cone-shaped bras.  After an incident in kindergarden where I got a little too involved with pelvic thrusting while singing "Borderline," I was put on Madonna probation.  But like the subject of any good psychological study, this punishment only gave me forbidden fruit syndrome, making me spend countless afternoons searching the house for the Madonna cassettes my mother had hidden from me.  I became obsessive and fantasized about rolling on the carpet of my My Little Pony themed bedroom wearing a wedding dress.  

When the tapes were finally returned to me, I was so appreciative that I holed myself in my room and listened to "La Isla Bonita" on repeat while crying with happiness.  Since then, I have learned to make my Madonna dance parties private events.  It's probably best that way.  

Also, I am seeing this as soon as it comes out.  Just saying...